She didn’t want to fall in love.
No, that meant letting all her guards down and giving all to him.
Falling in love meant, giving him the keys to her heart and trusting him not to damage it.
It meant, loving him completely and unconditionally when she battled to even love herself.
She was scarred from pain, loss, heartbreak, she didn’t want to trust as much as she had before.
She didn’t want to get her hopes up and watch them fall again.
She was scared of heights,scared of falling.
She loved to be in absolute control of herself, of her emotions and her thinking.
Love made people act crazy and do the unthinkable, it made people overlook flaws and turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of their partner.
But he made her heart beat faster and she got butterflies in her stomach at the very thought of him.
She pushed him away because even though she believed in the existence of love, she never wanted to love a man again in her entire life.
The rooms of her heart were locked, shut against any man that would come bearing tales of love for her.
And fear stood guard to those rooms, every single day of her life.