This word is alive, it’s a real struggle all around the world. Yes, even I lapse into it occasionally.
What do most people have to say?Here’s what:
They tell you to forget the past.
“See, just let go, and move on.”
“Worse things have happened to others, did they not survive?”
“Is it only you that has problems? You are alive, do something with your life.” Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop seeking attention…”
Stop this, stop that! Do this, do that!
They give you orishirishi advice:
“never be by yourself, go out, have fun, enjoy yourself, attend church meetings, take some booze, try a little drug to escape your demons. Catch fun man! Do whatever makes you happy and forget your sorrows, you cannot come and die na.”
Then there are those who even say “ah! Depressed ke? A ‘christian’ is not supposed to feel depressed! It’s from the Devil. You need to go for prayers”
Just like saying a Christian is not supposed to feel pain, because they are made of steel. Oh well. Like a friend said “crazy world”. I don’t mean to say depression is good or anything, let’s just talk about these things more, they are real. To be honest, most Nigerians do not know how to handle these sensitive issues. They ‘yab’ you, make snide remarks and laugh off everything.
People tell you that it’s because you have not forgiven, that’s why you are still having problems with moving on. They tell you you’re too emotional, get a grip on yourself! You’re not praying enough, etc etc.
They give you looks filled with self-righteous disdain as you fall apart in your struggle to find the strength in your weakness.
They ask superficial “how are yous” when you post disturbing stuff. (Maybe to ease their conscience)
They tell you “I understand” but they don’t take a firm decision to pull you from under… from drowning…
They see you and compliment your looks even when it’s obvious that you’re gradually emaciating and you’ve got dark circles under your eyes. (There’s a limit to what make-up can hide. Atleast to a trained eye).
They tell you to pray and be strong and all will be well. (Hey! How about them night hells?)
They tell you many things. Some you can’t remember now, but most of them never tell you these:
that it’s okay to cry and pour out your heart.
That it’s okay to want a human shoulder to actually lean on even though you know Jesus is there. They don’t tell you it’s okay to fall, just don’t stay down. They don’t tell you that depression is real and yes, even ‘Christians’ struggle with it, but you don’t have to let it consume you; win the damn battle!
They don’t tell you to write down those feelings of anxiety and paranoia, feelings that sometimes even you can’t identify with words. They don’t offer to stay with you a while and heck, maybe take walks with you if that will make you feel better- those types where words aren’t necessary, you just need the reassurance of another’s presence. They don’t tell and show you that you’re still loved despite your brokenness. They don’t give your fingers a reassuring squeeze when you’re starting to freak out. They don’t even envelope you in bear hugs… those that try to, don’t let it last long. They don’t tell you “talk to me, tell me everything” without turning it to daily news article with others. Some even become wary of you when next you cross paths.
Well… a couple of them might tell you these things, but not with corresponding action, and maybe out of pity so that “you will not goan hang yourself o”
Sure, there will be real ones, who you can pour out your heart to at 2 A.M (just saying),those who will sincerely look out for you and actually be there in practical terms.
But 90% of the time, they dont; they, the people of this world don’t give a hoot. They don’t tell you these things that can help you open up about your struggle. They prefer to label you crazy, ‘care’ from a distance and go all preachy about it.
My dear fighter, after all is said and done, you’ve got to tell yourself these things that not everybody will tell you. When the torrents have ceased, wipe your tears, blow your snotty nose, clear your head and stand tall. People can only do much, it’ll still boil down to you and your resolve to triumph.
Arise and shine, smile, laugh, enjoy the little things one day at a time, at your own pace. Don’t stress, you can make it out of the !
It is YOU who has to have your own back, and stay thankful to those that stayed real with you, because it’s still you who will one day tell your story in the realest way possible to others who can relate and hopefully it’ll encourage them not to commit the big ‘S’.
True healing comes from within; a total package of
SELF-LOVE, which is encapsulated in:
Have you ever asked yourself the reason people commit suicide in a non-judgemental way? (Yes, yes, apart from Devil).
The struggle is real o. Help someone out of it if you can, be sensitive and insightful. People wear fake smiles.☺ Ofcourse, God still loves us all. So, let’s show some love, stay real and help one another✌